Face of Iceland Contenders
When it was announced that Fern Britton was stepping down from presenting This Morning we produced a list of possible contenders to replace her on the sofa and we’ve decided to have a little bit of fun and produce a similar list for Kerry Katona’s replacement as the new face of Iceland.
Last week supermarket chain Iceland finally cottoned on that Kerry Katona wasn’t really the most suitable face to be splashed across all its advertising. After all Kerry prefers to be splashed across pages of celebrity magazines where she can endless discuss the woos of her life but it’s taken a little while for Iceland to realise that. Bookies and newspapers are already speculating as to whom will replace her with names such as Coleen Nolan, Kym Marsh and Charlotte Church all being tipped as the new Face of Iceland – hardly the most sought over titles surely? It’s not exactly like being the face of Marks and Spencers of Waitrose is it?
Anyway it’s only fair that we produce our own list of candidates as we did when Fern Britton stepped down from This Morning. Obviously the two things are completely different kettles of fish and some of the names that appeared on that list wouldn’t dream of being considered for Iceland – but then some would do anything for an extra bob and exposure. This is all very tongue-in-cheek remember but here’s our contenders for Iceland.
Roxanne Pallet
Best known for playing slapper Jo Sugden in ITV soap Emmerdale and appearing on Soapstar Superstar and Dancing On Ice, Roxanne Pallet is just the kind of face to replace Katona. She’s given various interviews to trashy tabloids about her life including how she loves outdoors sex – so a bit more exposure would be most welcome on her part. Pallet was due to star in several Shakespeare plays to prove herself as a credible actress but pulled out, shock horror, to tour with Dancing on Ice.
Kym Marsh
Currently plays Michelle Connor in Coronation Street but first came to the public eye as member of pop group HearSay which were formed via Pop Stars. Marsh quit the band and soon after HearSay fell apart – no big loss there. The actress was married to EastEnders actor Jack Ryder for a few years but they have since separated. For some reason Digital Spy tipped her to replace Kerry Katona as the new face of Iceland. We’re not sure if that’s a compliment or an insult.
Katie Price
Was at one time a friend of Kerry Katona’s but its hard to keep up with the various celebrity feuds that the celebrity trashy magazines love to report so. Like Katona Price is also suffering from much bad publicity at the moment with her messy separation from singer Peter Andre making many a tabloid headlines – like we give a flying fuck about their separation anyway. It took Iceland a long time before dumping Katona due to her antics so we think Katie could have at least a year’s worth of bad PR before Iceland think of looking for a new face. Price appeals to the same cliental that Katona did – the chavs.
Fern Cotton
Was on our list of replacements for Fern Britton simply because this little madam gets everywhere 
and there was a time not so long ago she was literally everywhere! Killing off Top of the Pops you would think would be enough to stop channels employing her but no. Since the pop series ended she’s cropped up on Eurovision, helping Terry Wogan find a suitable act to send to the maddest music contest in the world, and charity telethons such as Children in Need/Comic Relief. Thankfully at the moment she’s been sentenced to ITV2 with Celebrity Juice and presenting backstage coverage of The X-Factor. Fern has a young following who are mostly chavs who would appeal to Iceland.
Fiona Phillips
Since leaving the GMTV sofa earlier this year she has barely appeared on television and we can’t 
possibly think why – yes we’re joking. Oh yes she did Celebrity Apprentice which she described as the most unprofessional experience of her life – maybe that’s why the offers aren’t exactly flooding in for Fiona at the moment. Getting the Iceland gig would certainly put her face back on the television and would make her even more irritating than she was on GMTV – which we thought would be impossible. However, do we really think Fiona Phillips would shop at Iceland? No more than Sharon Osbourne shopping at Asda and Jamie Oliver shopping at Sainsburys.
