Gossip Boi: Reunion

From the third and final series of Gossip Boi, ATV Today steps back to November 20th 2009 for edition 27 entitled ‘Reunion‘. The first two seasons of Gossip Boi were weekly, the final run was bi-weekly with a total of 35 articles published. Here, for posterity, we have kept several online for nostalgia and reading pleasure.

Our London based columnist, Gossip Boy, continues his third season of columns as he reports all from the scandal laced world of London. He may have restyled himself as Gossip Boi but he’s still reporting all from the Streets of London

The best thing about no longer writing weekly columns is Gossip Boi has more time to ponder on what scandalous events of the past two weeks to include. It also gives more time for said scandalous events too occur as sometimes life can be pretty dull, even for Gossip Boi, and entire days can past without one scandalous incident to write a column about.

Lucky for Gossip Boi these past two weeks haven’t been completely dry of gossip, scandal and affairs and Gossip Boi actually has something to write about. Last Saturday night Gossip Boi and friends were invited to a party, a themed party. The theme was superheroes and despite Gossip Boi’s misgivings he went along, in costume. Which superhero Gossip Boi went as shall remain secret otherwise his identity might be revealed.

At the party there was some debate as to whether Batman, and Robin for that matter, qualified as superheroes. Well there was some debate on the matter, in the kitchen, is you actually gave a toss – which Gossip Boi did not. But the fact that Batman and Robin were in attendance at the party seemed to have really pissed several people off. Superman wasn’t best pleased for starters. Maybe its those pants on the outside which don’t do Superman no favours that makes Superman look silly. Wonder Woman didn’t seem to mind though. But then again Wonder Woman was eyeing up Robin even though he was likely to be gay. Maybe nobody told Wonder Woman she was only there in fag-hag capacity and all the men there were gay and some of the men there were actually dressed as female superheroes, just to confuse matters even more.

Later in the night, Superman had real cause to be pissed at Batman as he found Batman sucking off his boyfriend, who was dressed as Spiderman, in the gardens. Have you ever wondered who would win in a fight between Batman and Superman with Spiderman in the middle and Wonder Woman and Robin cheering on the sidelines? Probably not but just in case you were interested Batman won. Batman won the fight and the boy. Spiderman left the party with Batman while Superman downed his sorrows in the punch…its those pants.

If the superhero-themed party complete with fight and oral sex wasn’t enough scandal for Gossip Boi to report on then the next day’s event certainly was. While in a café having lunch with a friend Gossip Boi witnessed a reunion. Two old boyfriends came face-to-face after what seemed like an extended period away from each other. The usual difficult pleasantries were exchanged with more than a hint of frostiness. A bit of small talk was on the menu before one made his excuses and left.

The other stayed in the Café and sat down for lunch with his own friend. The topic of conversation between the two was of course over the ex only the friend revealed something he perhaps shouldn’t have. He revealed that the ex-boyfriend had once tried to kiss him and on cue the wronged ex got up and stormed out of the café after his once lover.

Gossip Boi couldn’t help but wonder what happened when this guy caught up with his former lover and he didn’t have to wonder for long because someone kindly informed him. It was, after all, the source of gossip for a few hours after. The man walked down the street and quickly came across his ex where he slapped him across the face and verbal exchange of insults ensured with the usual unimaginative being traded “you’re no good in bed” ect. It provided much amusement for the crowd watching but came to a close after a few short moments. It just goes to show that not all reunions are happy ones and some secrets are better left in the closet.

Talking of closets during the exchange of insults the wronged ex accidentally outed his former lovers’ brother as being bisexual and having slept with him after he two broke up.

Gossip Boi

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