With this royal alien documentary, Vivian Summers decided to see if it could be pitched as an ITV drama, we’ve had Nolly, Archie and Des to name a few, let’s venture into Liz…
The air inside the sleek, silver spaceship hummed with an otherworldly energy as Queen Elizabeth II sat regally in the co-pilot’s seat. Her gloved hands rested calmly on the armrests, her posture impeccable despite the strangeness of the situation. Beside her, a lanky, green-skinned alien with three glowing eyes tapped at a holographic console, its long fingers dancing across the shimmering controls.
“Your Majesty,” the alien rasped, its voice a mix of clicks and warbles translated through a small device pinned to its tunic, “I trust the journey has been to your liking?”
The Queen inclined her head slightly, her signature hat defying the low gravity with an almost royal stubbornness. “One has experienced many remarkable things in one’s reign,” she replied, her tone steady, “but I must admit, this is rather singular. Tell me, Commander Zxyl, where are we bound?”
Zxyl’s middle eye blinked rapidly, a sign of excitement. “To the Rings of Kalthar, Your Majesty. A sight no human has witnessed—an ocean of light swirling around a gas giant. We thought it a fitting tribute for your… what do you call it? Platinum Jubilee?”
The Queen’s lips curved into the faintest of smiles. “How thoughtful. One supposes it’s only proper to represent Earth in such a cosmic affair.” She glanced out the viewport, where stars-streaked past like diamonds scattered across black velvet. “Philip would have been positively delighted by all this.”
Zxyl tilted its head, curious. “Philip?”
“My late husband,” she said, her voice softening for a moment. “He did so enjoy a good adventure.” The alien nodded solemnly, as if understanding the weight of her words. “Then we shall honour him too. Hold tight, Your Majesty—entering the Rings now.”
The spaceship dipped, and suddenly the cabin flooded with a kaleidoscope of colours—blues, purples, and golds spiralling in endless waves. The Queen’s eyes widened ever so slightly, a rare glimmer of wonder breaking through her composed exterior. “marvellous,” she murmured, almost to herself. “Simply marvellous.”
And so, Queen Elizabeth II, monarch of England and now guest of the cosmos, sat beside her alien companion, sipping tea from a thermos – because one must always be prepared – as they charted the unknown together—proof that even the stars could bow to a queen’s curiosity.
