Former Emmerdale actress and Hear’Say star Suzanne Shaw appeared on Lorraine today, to talk about her mental health journey since finding fame at 19 years old.
She also opened up about her decision to run four ultramarathons in four consecutive days to raise awareness of mental health this month. Suzanne revealed that the early days of being in Hear’Say was “tough” on her mental health.
“It was a really tough time. When I was a kid, I remember being a teenager and having my first major panic attack. It was quite severe and scary, I don’t really remember suffering with anxiety until after Hear’Say. It was such a big thing to go through – that overwhelming [feeling], that burnout manifested in depression. At some points I would really fear leaving the house. I would be in bed. My self esteem was so low at times and I really do now know more about mental health.”
Suzanne also revealed that the connection she had with family, friends and loved ones went away at the time because “it was very hard for them to understand what I was going through.”
“My self-esteem was shot. I would self-sabotage, nobody hated me more than me and I hid that for a very long time. I was too afraid my story wasn’t valid because I was famous and what should I be ungrateful for… I suffered in silence.”
The star then told Lorraine she’s now stopped taking antidepressants and drinking alcohol. She explained she uses running and medication as a therapy.
“I quit alcohol. I wasn’t an addict, but I was a middle lane drinker who used alcohol because that was the easier thing to get out of the mind chatter, but it was exasperating. I was feeling more anxious and more depressed. It had to go. I was having the beer fear every day.”
On running four ultramarathons in four consecutive days later this month, Suzanne said, “I’ve been training since October for this. I’ve been running with my children and I’ve been doing panto over the season, two shows and doing training in between that.”
Explaining how she’s not sure of how far she’ll be running each day because it’s a “metaphor for mental health”, Suzanne said, “I could be running up to 200 miles or a mere 120 miles, I’m not sure until the day.”
Lorraine weekdays at 9am on ITV1, STV, STV Player and ITVX
