C**ts x3

Peter Kay announces first stand-up tour in over a decade

Sky News reported that the 49-year-old comedian best-known for comedy series’ Car Share and Phoenix Nights is keeping ticket prices at the same level they were for his last tour in 2010 to help fans with the cost-of-living crisis.

Kay’s tour will travel the UK and Ireland between December 2022 and August 2023. Sky News noted ‘His last [tour] was in 2010, when he gained the Guinness World Record for the biggest-selling run of all time – playing to a total of 1.2 million people.

Kellie Shirley has happy surprise

Unlike the residents of Walford former EastEnders performer Kellie Shirley has some happy news.  The 41-year-old star, who played Carly Wicks on the BBC One soap, said she found out she was expecting during the UK’s summer heatwave. Speaking to OK Magazine she observed, “[The pregnancy test came] back positive straightaway… It was a really lovely surprise. I feel very lucky.”

Not so Funny fella

David Walliams has been exposed *does pretend camp face, and flounces around like a fanny, David Walliams gay-piss-take-style* oo-er, but not in a good way. The man who made Blankety Blank a turn-off has been outed as one of showbiz’s apparent ‘fake friendly personalities’. Gosh, who’d a thunk it?

Britain’s Got Talent judge Walliams apologised for making “disrespectful comments” about contestants while cameras were turned off, but the sound still recording, during breaks on the Thames Television produced talent show. The alleged ‘funny man’ has been reportedly recorded making derogatory remarks and sexually explicit comments about participants auditioning for the ITV aired series in January 2020. A leaked transcript seen by the Guardian, notes Walliams called an older performer a “c***” three times. The person in question was not in hearing range.

Morgan on the not so funny fella

 A man who knows all about c***s is Piers Morgan, who waded into the David Walliams c***t scandal to note, in his view, Walliams is ‘one of the nastiest frauds in TV’. And that takes some doing.

“Britain’s Got Talent is a family show and we do not condone the use of any such language,” a spokesperson for Thames/Syco noted after the incident hit the newspapers with one story suggesting the former face and arse of Little Britain had said of one female audition participant “She’s like the slightly boring girl you meet in the pub that thinks you want to f*** them, but you don’t.” …“She thinks you want to f*** her, but you don’t,”

Vile.

In Briefs

Scottish hard-rock legend Dan McCafferty has died at the age of 76. He was best known as the lead singer of the band Nazareth, of which he was a member from 1968 until 2013, RTÉ News reported.

Olivia Attwood was forced to withdraw from I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! after a routine blood test showed she was anaemic. She probably thought to herself she wasn’t that bad at maths.

EastEnders actor Jaz Singh Deol has departed the low-rating saga after three years in the role of Kheerat Panesar, BBC Elstree this week confirmed.

Beeny on Breasts

Presenter Sarah Beeny spoke on (8 October) Loose Women about finding a lump on her breast – urging people to ‘trust their bodies’ if things don’t feel right. Speaking on television for the first time since her diagnosis, Sarah spoke about how she’s determined to empower people through speaking out. She joined Jane Moore, Coleen Nolan, Janet Street-Porter and Brenda Edwards on the panel explaining how it was 40 years after her mum died of the disease.

“[I’ve been aware of breast cancer] probably since I was 10, I’m 50 now. My mum died when I was 10 and I’ve just always assumed that I would get breast cancer. Anyone else who’s lost a mum would feel this – she died at 39 so when I got to 39, I was like, ‘Here it is, this is it, this is the moment. And then I got to 40 and was like, ‘Oh no, that wasn’t it – that’s not it’.

“So 40 was a bit of a bumpy moment, because I wasn’t sure what you do at 40 when you’re not dead. Then life went on and then I hit 50 and then I was diagnosed, and I thought, ‘Oh there it is. It was just waiting.’”