‘Once, my auntie walked in on me receiving oral sex from a male friend. She walked straight back out the room and never mentioned it’.
Winner of and the first runner-up of ‘Mr. Africa International’ Alex Gede had been attracted to men all his life, but believed he had turned himself straight when he married his wife Charell and had two children.
4 years later, he came out to his wife, found himself a boyfriend, and now jokingly refers to his situation as “a modern family”.
Alex grew up in Nigeria, where homosexuality is not only controversial but criminalised. The maximum punishment for same-sex sexual activity is 14 years’ imprisonment in Southern Nigeria, and in some northern states under Shari’a Law, homosexuals can be sentenced to death by stoning.
“I was closeted the whole time I lived in Nigeria. No one talks about sexuality. Once, my auntie walked in on me receiving oral sex from a male friend. She walked straight back out the room and never mentioned it”.
Alex explains that he had always wanted a “traditional life”, and after moving to London, married a woman in an attempt to suppress his sexuality.
“I was fighting who I was. I thought I had conquered this gay side of me. I loved her and she loved me. I wanted a family better than the one I grew up in”.
Alex and Charell got married after a year of dating, and had two children together, now aged 8 and 11. But Alex couldn’t fight who he was, and after 4 years of marriage, he shared the truth with his wife after she saw some of his text messages.
“I was talking about my past with a friend and she saw the messages on my phone. She confronted me about it and I told her I’d been attracted to guys all my life. It took her time to understand that none of it is her fault, but she’s been so understanding. She makes sure our kids still have their dad around. I still see them most days and I’m very grateful to her for the relationship I have with them”.
Alex tried to make things work with Charell for another two years before separating. Once he found himself in a new relationship with boyfriend Mikey – who he says was very supportive of him and his family, even helping him take his children to school – he came out to his family. Alex explains that they are less than pleased about his situation.
“My family and all my childhood friends stopped speaking with me when I came out. My mum thinks I’m under the influence of the devil and is still praying to break me free”.
After underwear modelling for years, Alex, now single, decided he wanted to address the mistakes of many fashion brands, and now runs Club Seven Menswear, providing high-end underwear to a large LGBTQ+ audience.
Club Seven have, they note, found the ‘perfect blend of fabric for underwear; cotton and modal.’ They believe that underwear should not just be a necessity, it should be an indulgence. ‘Your jewels deserve a taste of the good life. And no, your 95% cotton 5% spandex special occasion briefs are not premium, they’re basic.’ They add.
www.CLUB7MENSWEAR.com
