The Christmas crackers feature Boris Johnson, Emma Raducanu, Matt Hancock, Jackie Weaver, Piers Morgan, Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and Richard Branson…
“It is heartening that every Christmas, the British public can reflect on this year in a humorous way. We hope that, alongside Gold’s comedy Christmas programming, our modern Christmas cracker jokes add a little laughter for everyone at the end of the year.” – Gerald Casey, Gold channel director
A festive joke about the rising cost of fuel has been revealed as the winner of Gold’s annual competition to create the best topical Christmas cracker gags, according to the British public. Other topical stories from the past 12 months have been used as material for the top festive funnies, including Covid vaccines and testing, the Friends reunion, the lack of HGV drivers and popular Netflix series Squid Game.
The winning jokes are revealed by UKTV channel Gold’s annual festive competition for new Christmas cracker jokes which aims to keep the country chuckling this festive period, adding a comical spin to a year like no other.
Now in its ninth year, the competition once again challenged entrants to come up with the best topical and modern Christmas cracker jokes, which were then voted for by the British public to determine the winners.
Gold’s top 20 funniest new Christmas cracker jokes for 2021 are revealed as:
- Why are people cutting back on Brussels sprouts this Christmas? The cost of gas is too high
- Why is Christmas dinner vegan this year? Because Turkey is on the red list, but vegetables are all green
- Why won’t Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and Richard Branson see each other this Christmas? They all want space
- What’s Piers Morgan’s favourite Christmas song? Walking off on air
- Which relative will not be at Chris Whitty’s Christmas dinner? Aunty Vaxxer
- Which vaccine did Father Christmas get? Mince Pfizer
- Why did Rudolph’s nose have too self-isolate? It failed the lateral glow test
- Why didn’t Santa replace Comet and Cupid when they left to become HGV drivers? It was just 2 deer
- How do you know the heating bill for December is too high? Dad won’t even let you open the windows on your advent calendar.
- Why can Netflix afford calamari at Christmas? They’re Squids in
- Why does Christmas scrabble take so long with Boris Johnson? He’s keeps going back on his word
- Why are we only having broccoli, cabbage and peas as veg this Christmas? Because 52% of the family said no to Brussels
- Why did Matt Hancock have to buy his aide really expensive Christmas presents? She had him up against a wall
- Why does Emma Raducanu get to carry the crystal glasses at Christmas dinner? They know she’s unlikely to drop a set
- Which vaccine did the Three Wise Men have? The Wiser Jab
- Which ‘Friends’ character nearly missed the 2021 Reunion Show due to the Test and Trace app? Chandler Ping
- Why will Keir Starmer be sad on Christmas morning? He’ll still have no presence
- Why does Jackie Weaver control the weather at Christmas? She has snow authority
- What pantomime are the government doing this year? Chris Whittington
- What is Coleen Rooney’s favourite Christmas game? Guess Who
Gold challenged the British public to tweet original festive gags to enter the competition. Entries were shortlisted by a panel of judges – led by comedy critic Bruce Dessau – and put to an anonymous public vote of 2,000 British adults to reveal the winning jokes. The top six jokes were included within bespoke boxes of Gold’s Christmas crackers*, which were presented to this year’s winners.
The annual joke competition celebrates Gold’s seasonal TV scheduling, which includes classic festive episodes of Britain’s best loved comedies such as Only Fools and Horses, The Royle Family and Mrs Brown’s Boys. There’s also a chance for Gold viewers to catch up on UKTV Originals including The Cockfields Christmas Special which airs on Gold from 13th December.
Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who led the Gold judging panel, said:
“The British public’s fantastic sense of humour never ceases to amaze me! With subjects spanning from Matt Hancock to Squid Game, Covid to Track and Trace, Jackie Weaver to Emma Raducanu’s smashing wins, there is something to get everyone giggling this year.”
The author of the winning joke, Craig Rogers from Manchester, received the top prize of £1,500 towards a holiday, a festive hamper and a box of bespoke Gold Christmas Crackers, one of which will contain his own winning gag.
All the jokes voted on by the British public are original content to the best of Gold’s knowledge.
